communication & connection

hey friends! it’s been a minute…

i just got back from a visit home in niagara, and had a really interesting conversation with my dad yesterday morning around communication and how much it’s shifted; especially since the rise of social media.

part of me hesitates to even write about this, and perhaps you’ll understand why as i get further into what we discussed, but another part of me is pulled to write out my thoughts and use this medium for the purpose i’ve created it for. i think, if anything, this site has become an outlet of expression for me, rather than a platform of influence. although it may have that repercussion, it hasn’t ever really been my intention - not that i think that is a “bad thing” for other people to do… that’s just not what i’ve made it for. you may understand more as you read on why i wanted to disclaim that before i get into it.

i realize that it’s impossible for me to try to relay our entire conversation to you, so my hope in this is that i can touch on some points that i’ve really been chewing on since then. essentially, we discussed a lot of the negative impact that we (and i think a lot of other people) recognize that social media has on our global understanding and interaction with communication.

our conversation somewhat began around our current reality of “cancel culture” that has been birthed out of social media and the extreme amount of anxiety that it’s causing in almost everyone who engages with it. there is this unspoken expectation that exists in our behaviour online that pressures us to act a certain way, seemingly in order for other people to approve our worth and affirm our chosen identities.

i think it’s super important that we acknowledge the major impact this is having on our mental health so that we can actively resist and change this downward spiral. most effectively, i’ve learnt that there is so much value in taking intentional breaks and deleting these apps for a while to centre back to where my worth actually lives. but don’t you find that kind of sad, almost? that there is a lack of self-control with these things as they build up? that’s how i feel about it, at least.

the biggest implication that we really went in on is how it has caused a death in the art of listening. it seems as though everyone right now wants to say their piece about issues going on and are holding people to such extreme expectations on how they “should” live. i’ve seen it so much recently, especially with all the shit we’ve been through so far this year.

i am in no way saying that i think it is wrong to be honest and speak about things that matter to you… in fact, i think that it is incredible that we are able to educate each other and ourselves and evolve in this way. however, it feels like there is no more grace out there for people being people and making mistakes. there is a giant gap that cannot be filled because there is no place for face-to-face interaction and human connection in our online presence. a simple example of this that my dad mentioned is something so simple as the infliction in our voices when we speak about our feelings... there is no feeling behind twitter rants and instagram stories. and even if someone is speaking, but speaking to a camera, there is no real person on the other side offering reaction to what they’re saying, which would affect how they may “deliver” the message.

all of this being said, i know that social media it isn’t all bad - in fact, there are many beautiful and incredible ways that it has advanced the ways in which we can communicate with each other, and it’s important that we use it for that. if anything, it provides us with a way more efficient way to connect with others than ever before, but it cannot stop there! we still need our time together. like, actually together. being listened to and then listening back is everything!

people have so much to learn from each other - we all perceive our world in several different and marvellous ways. it is just as much as a gift to be able to absorb and learn new things from another human’s experiences as it is a gift to be able to share our own unique perspective honestly with each other. what a beautiful, special thing. and while i’m not saying it’s impossible over a screen, it certainly is more difficult.

there is nothing like what i call “people in a room”. breathing together. laughing together. feeling together… there becomes this magic “other” that is present which is an inexplicable and invaluable treasure. it’s so communal! that specifically is a huge loss i’ve noticed with our current extinction of live entertainment. i don’t know about you, but in it’s lack, i’ve really realized how it is an incredible gift for humans to connect on a deeper, spiritual level, without even having to say anything. when every person in the same room is experiencing some sort of art that is actively creating a common, more or less, a sort of communion develops. that is so precious.

and so this is why i hesitate a little bit to even be writing and sharing this right now… the conversation left me in contemplation of my decision to create this platform for myself… what is this desire in me to share my thoughts with others online? what i am really trying to do here?

while i don’t think i’m doing this thing to try to form a certain image of myself or try to change the way that people think, i admit that there is a piece of me that hopes that in my sharing, other people are inspired to contemplate and reflect them as well.

sometimes i end these posts with an invitation for others to share their own thoughts with me on what i’ve written - and so i do at least acknowledge that there is a hope in me that this may perhaps spark some conversations with people where i can gain a new perspective to digest and consider. i’m proud of that. that goes beyond me just saying my piece - i do want to listen as much as i want to share. but if i’m honest, no one ever does that, and that’s okay, too. and perhaps that is because this is just my online presence, where you cannot feel exactly what i’m feeling as i’m typing my thoughts out.

with that, i do have to say that writing these help me with my own thought processes. essentially, i guess i’m just choosing to make my personal journal open to the public. i think there may be a hint of recklessness to that statement, but moreover, i’m content in saying that it makes me feel like i’m just being an honest person, which is very important to me. although no one asks for me to share these things, i do it because i want to do it. just to put it out into “the world” and then let “the world” do whatever it wants with it. and i guess that’s because there exists that tiny hope in me that this just might ignite something new for someone out there.

i don’t know how i feel about it all, though. it’s a lot to think about and a really interesting nuance for me to engage with. so… yeah. that’s that.

take care,

skye